Evin Rosetta Stone

I Yearn For Your Calm Embrace

I yearn to know where you are,
how your days go by,
when you wake up,
when you bathe,
what you wear,
when you go to work.

Are you bored, tired, sleepy, or cold?
The air is polluted,
do you smell the dust in the air?
When you go to work,
is it still dark when you leave?
How is the light in the stairway of our house?

I can't remember,
our building,
what were the colors of the stones!
You reminded me once before,
I can't recall!

Where do you sleep at night?
How do you wash your clothes?
Since my captivity,
have you made any new friends,
whom I don't know yet?
Whom did you fight with,
that I don't know about, yet?
What do you read, who do you listen to?
Still on Internet until morning dawn!
I yearn to know about your days,
where and what you buy.
Any veggies or fruits!
It is summer time, is it not!
Cantaloupe, apricot, strawberry, green plum, watermelon!
What a delight!
Love them all!

Do you still get a headache when your tea is late!
Your cell phone is out of charge!
You forgot again!
Still wash your hair in the sink?
Eat yogurt with dry bread?
Have you bought yourself a briefcase yet, a new shirt?

I yearn to know,
what do you think of,
when you think of me?
What do you ache to know,
whenever you think of me?

When you shop for me,
what do you think about?
What do you recall of our times together?
Are you wary of our anniversaries?

Do you remember,
it was in June,
when I came to Majideyeh, for the first time.
And then, you showed me Isfahan,
my first time.

Do you remember,
those days we walked the streets just to be together.
Do you remember,
the sunsets in Saei Park?
Do you remember Zav,
the old days when you took me to Darband?
Do you remember we went with Ahmad, the last time...
Spring of 2008?

Do you remember my cooking?
Don’t even remember it myself, anymore!
Do you recall how,
piece by piece,
we bought our own furniture?
Do you remember,
Norooz in 2008,
we went to Caspian Sea,
went to the beach.
Ahmad was there.

Do you recall,
June 6th, 2002,
you gave me the ultimatum,
told me to move on with my life.

Do you recall,
June 2006,
the first time I was released from Evin Prison.

Do you recall, March 9th, 2007,
I went to the Central Council for the first time.

Do you recall,
August 8th, 2007,
the day that,
at the sunset,
I was released from prison.
At the stairway landing of my father’s house,
you said, “Wait a second…”
You said, “In this last month,
while you were gone,
I came to my senses."
"I can not live without you anymore,” you went on.

March 7th,
do you remember it?
You do,
I know.
It was seven-and-half years ago.

I miss everything...
Every bit of my existence is in pain,
as I yearn for you.

I am tired of all these little dreams that are choking me.
Do you know what it is?
I know you know…
you don’t know how it feels to be held in this damned cage.
In the last year,
I followed three people,
passing in front of my eyes to their demise,
under the dirt,
two of whom,
particularly the last,
were of angelic virtues.

You don’t know how it feels...
I wish you would never know...

My heart yearns for your calm embrace...


Bahar, Evin Prison, 9th of June 2011 

(translation by MPD)